when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
