She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
