i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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