called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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