Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
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