woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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