hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
