I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
this will be a night to untag.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
