What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
