Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
