ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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