he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
