he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
