party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
