im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
