every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
