Tell her she can't have a vagina
This house was built for laser tag.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
