I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
