she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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