Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
