I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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