AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
