I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
