I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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