I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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