..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
