He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's never too late to be topless.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
