Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
