i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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