God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
