It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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