If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
