i think my tv is drunk
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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