I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
