Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
