i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
