My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
