her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
