girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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