Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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