i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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