I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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