I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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