By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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