So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
