You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
