I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
