I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
