Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
