my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
