i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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