Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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