Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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