even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
