im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
