just tell him i said nine months
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize