i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
