I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
