So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
