gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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