When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
