Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
