My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
